Why Should I use a Divorce Coach?

February 3, 2021

“Divorce coaches are vital members of the team. We estimate that only about 20 percent of what we deal with in a divorce matter is legal – the remaining 80 percent is emotional” (Webb and Ousky, 2006, p. 89).

What do you think when you hear the term “Divorce Coach”? Do you picture an athletic coach on the sidelines with a play sheet, instructing you on how to properly wade your way through the process of divorce? How do you feel when you learn that a divorce coach is a Mental Health Professional? Does the fear and stigma of seeing a therapist send anxiety from your head to your toes? Do you picture yourself lying on a couch, telling your most personal thoughts to someone sitting in an oversized cardigan while writing notes and sipping on a cup of coffee?

Divorce Coaching versus Therapy: What Does A Divorce Coach Do?

Well – the notes, coffee, and cardigan part might be right, but the most personal thoughts – not quite so much. That is the difference between therapy and divorce coaching. In therapy, you create clinical treatment goals – specific plans created between you and your therapist to create wellness in your life in a variety of areas. In divorce coaching, everyone has the same goal: to get from Point A to Point Z. To complete the uncoupling process. To come out the other side unscathed, unwounded, and without great financial burden. To be stable in and comfortable with the process of what just happened. To have children that understand what their life is going to look like moving forward. To be satisfied with the result. Point A to Point Z.

1. Manage Communication to Resolve Divorce Concerns

A divorce coach is this: your emotional assistant. We are the people who help you to manage your reactions and triggers. Throughout the process of divorce, a lot of feelings come up. These feelings, these reactions to what is happening, they can interfere with your progress. Emotional reactions are based on your life experience, your beliefs, and your passions – but they can stall the process. Our job is to help you manage your emotions, your reactions, and to help you persevere. We help you to get from Point A to Point Z, without your reactions getting you stuck in the mud at Point K.

2. Minimize the Potential Destructive Nature of Divorce

Not only does the divorce coach guide the couple through the process, but the team as well. We are responsible for identifying the obstacles that may derail the process and prioritizing them accordingly (Webb and Ousky, 2006). We act as a human belay cord for all parties involved, with the collective goal being the completion of the process.

3. Focus on Future Goals while Encouraging a Positive Family Transition

You can get through this process without becoming flooded; without experiencing so many emotions at once that you cannot think straight. You can get through this process without stalling. You can get through this process without spending way, way too much money. Divorce coaches are your helpers. No, you do not have to use us. But wouldn’t it be nice to have an emotional superhero on speed dial in case you get stuck at Point K? Try not to fear us. We really, really love helping other people. Let us help you – from start to finish, A to Z.

Learn more about the Collaborative Process and schedule a confidential consultation with the Collaborative Law Professionals of Southeastern Pennsylvania. We can assist you with the emotional and financial aspects involved in your divorce case.

About Sandra Elder, MS NCC LPC

Sandra Elder, MS NCC LPC owns and practices at The Sunrise Center for Wellness LLC, in Feasterville-Trevose, PA. She has twenty years of clinical experience, and offers individual, couple, family, and group therapy. She has specialized training in Ecosystemic Structural Family Therapy, Mediation, Collaborative Divorce, and has experience using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness techniques. She also specializes in the clinical perspectives of chronic illness and diabetes management and supervises pre-licensed clinicians as well. Other treatment areas include relationships, parenting, anxiety, coping skills, trauma, grief & loss, and divorce
Click here to learn more about Sandra Elder, MS NCC LPC